Saturday, November 17, 2012

No Fear

If you have read a little here or know me, then you know I have nine children & eight grandchildren (with # 9 on the way). I am 55 years old. It is a little bit unusual these days to have nine children  but it is even more unusual to have eight C-sections. Baby #4 arrived seven weeks early and I was flown to a Denver hospital where the staff assured me this baby was small enough to deliver normally, despite my previous three C-sections. He was small enough to my surprise, but he still was nearly 5 lbs & very healthy. He remained in the hospital several weeks until he was strong enough to nurse.       During prenatal care for baby #5, my doctor became nervous to the point of lecturing me for having too many babies. I decided that he made me nervous & quit going to prenatal appointments. I went to the hospital when I went into labor & told them I would need a C-section. That doctor was upset at me as well because I had quit prenatal care. He had a change of attitude & eventually became one of my favorite doctors. All the C-sections were complication free & I healed normally.....until baby #9.        I was 43 years old when I became pregnant with baby #9. I had some spotting in the early months & just didn't feel well much of the pregnancy. I thought it was because I was getting older.  In the seventh month I had a major bleeding episode which stopped on it's own, thankfully. I was flown to a Denver hospital quickly  & had another bleeding episode there which, again, thankfully stopped  on it's own. I had placenta percreta which means the placenta had reattached itself through the uterus into the bladder because of thin uterine walls caused generally by many C-sections. (I don't want to worry anyone, this is extremely rare!) So, long story made short, David was born nearly full term & generally healthy. I had a C-section, hysterectomy, & bladder reconstruction ( after they cut away the part the placenta had attached itself to). This was a serious surgery which required 100 units of blood, plasma,etc., but I survived with minor complications.   Honestly, the worst part was waking in ICU with the gagging respirator in my throat & the staff telling me I had to wait to get it out, ( supposedly making sure I could breathe okay). Well, I thought I could breathe just fine & that they wanted to torture me for several hours.  I have a rather strong opinion against ever being put on a respirator for a prolonged time because of that experience.               This post has been the hardest one so far, to complete. I have been praying to understand why, & at this point I believe I should simply confess that it is SO EASY for me to think I am somebody special because of the wonderful things the Lord has done for me. Again, & again, & again I have to remind myself that I am NOTHING without God & I am NOBODY special. I do NOT understand grace! All I know is that all the blessings the Lord gives me is because He has chosen me & because His MERCIES are huge! Why does He choose one & not another? I don't know except that His mercies are huge! (Romans Chapter 9) I am happy to say I am a NOBODY with God's immense blessing!!! There is no more to say!      Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia          Isaiah 43:1-3   "Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you & when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel; your Savior."


  1. What an incredible story! And so many true thoughts in here. Thank you for sharing!!!

  2. Salvation is such a mystery. I am so thankful to have been chosen, but my heart hurts everyday that my parents and siblings and the rest of my extended family haven't been chosen. And if anything their get harder hearts through the years, not softer. I've been saved and praying for 15 years. Such a mystery! Beautiful but bittersweet at the same time. Thanks for visiting my blog, Cynthia. I appreciate your encouragement.